Saturday, November 24, 2012

I wonder........

    I wonder.....


Tomorrow is my Birthday, I wish things were different,that you were here, conspiring with your siblings as you did every year always finding me something I would always use, or things you knew I wanted like Florida Gator stuff such as the full sized signed Tim Tebow helmet you got me for my anniversary when Dad was deployed and you smiled so slickly knowing Daddy was so busy overseas you searched and got it,knowing how much I love my Gators so much so, I have more Gator clothes than I do regular!

   I remember all the great birthdays we have all had and that you were significant in them as you would be "Mom's secret spy"and the kids never realized that you would tell me what they wanted .....

   so for my Birthday I wish you were here to celebrate with me laughing and having fun. I love you and miss you so much Mr.BlueEyes.

Love Mum.... 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

A 19th Birthday.....

  It is almost that day, that joyful day you came into my life with a loud scream and then you looked right into my eyes and won over my heart with that first look a mother see's when she get's to see her baby for the first time,I remember thinking, he has my blue eyes and he is gorgeous! You had such a sweet nature about you, that is until your brother came along and you cried and stood on Tristan mad there was another person to share my attention with only Tris did not like the initiation into brotherhood at all.
  
  I now am left to wonder, Would you be in college the one you wanted to attend? Would you be playing football as well as the man you admired with such admiration for his passion to play football? 
Would you be still so great with your younger siblings who miss you so much? Would you still be young enough to not care about the Hey Mom, I love you see ya later? infront of them? Would you have found that ONE person for you who truly got and understood you and loved you like I do still?
  "Would I?" and "Could I?" are now  the questions I will never get answered, and unlike murder victim's families I will never get to confront the 3 punks who took you from me just as sure as a murderer takes his prey but atleast his preys families and loved ones are allowed to confront the murdered in those cases and even though the bullies did infact set the stage for our babies to take their own lives in my mind they murdered our children with words,words so vile that dying was better in their minds then living.
  Oh and to the Delegate in Virginia there is a extremely massive difference in "Being Mean" and "Being socially unexceptable" so keep this in mind, EVERYTIME you hear a parent who just lost their child to bullying and you hear THESE VERY WORDS, (in Christian's case) Christian Taylor,"You need to just GO AHEAD and KILL YOURSELF and GET IT OVER WITH!?!?!?!?!."or something to the same effect......THAT sir is NOT "Being Mean" that is being on a level of hatred that they shouldn't be allowed in public at all.....
  My son was loved,He had friends that loved him a family who adored him and a life to live and that was taken from us, but it wont stop us from  loving and remembering who he was and what he did and how he lived.

           I am sorry your not here, But Happy Birthday Christian 
I miss you more than words will ever say we will never forget you and the joy ,comedy and love you gave us.  <3<3<3 Take care of Miss Emme for us we know she is in good hands....I love you Mr.Blueeyes.....

                               Love Mum

        Love Mum