Thursday, October 10, 2013
Been thinking about you today, your birthday is coming up we know what we want to do , I am missing you alot lately, I am super pissed the school didnt do anything but on the bright side they passed the bill 1871 in Virginia the bill they worked on after your death, I am glad its been passed though it needed to be passed and Ross,Evan,Michael and Brian had been held accountable for the part they played the LARGE part they played in your death, I would love to confront them better yet, I would love for your siblings to be able to show them all the pain they instilled in this family, and funny thing is...its amazing how how something will turn someone in a heartbeat!!
I love you most and I miss you mostest.....Hug Emme and Chleo and play on with all the kids you've met I hope your flying free of pain and skating on the best of boards and parks....
Sunday, August 25, 2013
As a mother of a child who died due to bullying it is very hard to deal with, shortly after my son died and it hit the media, I recieved a letter from a woman in North Carolina,She didnt know me and I didnt know her but we did have something in common, she also had a child that was bullied and that was where our simmularities ended, and I got to meet that gorgeous young adult and her name is Brooke and is a very special young lady.
Cristy apologized in the letter and was very nervous ,when I got her mail asking if I would speak at the 1st Anti-Bullying rally there was no hesitation I said yes immediatly and told her I will be there and this becomes a friendship with an unbreakable bond.
Now just recently a person who was big part of her life and her families life just passed away due to a car accident and she is starting her journey of the loss of this amazing young man(and he was AMAZING) this loss is hitting her very hard and it is very emotionally challenging her senses and all the mood swings, the I wish I had one more second to tell him I love him.
To those who havent lost a child to bullying or actually anything else,this is how you feel from the minute you are informed of the death of your loved one, the breathe has been knocked out of you disbelief and heartbreak and then your legs give out and all you can do is cry hysterically it doesnt make sense you just saw them,and your world takes a nose dive.
To Cristy I am so sorry, I am here and lean on me..
Much love to you and his family also...
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Another mother has lost a precious son, He didn't die due to bullying,but none the less her son is gone and her pain is just beginning, I met this mother in 2010 when asked to be a keynote speaker at KABS Anti-bullying rally Cristy Price Reese.
I know I cannot take away from her grief but I do want her to know my heart breaks for her and her family members and the rest of the family that was in Austins life he was very special to alot of people and dealing with this type of loss over the next few months will be hard for them and I hope they know, they will never be far from my thoughts, even though I dont have all the answers, I do have shoulders that can help them carry the pain of his death.
As parents we always want the best for our kids and when something happens that takes them from the "planned" life we have in mind it is very painful and all those dreams vanish.
To Austins family I am so sorry, I met you when my pain was fresh in my mind but you were there, unwaivering and steady and I believe that when Austin crossed over my son was there to meet him and I am here.....just ask if you need to.
Monday, August 12, 2013
I sit here thinking about my son, and how people not in my immediate family or even just per chance I cross their path in
my life,My life now with a very important piece of my puzzle missing.
You feel you have the right to interject your opinion on my
life and tell me I need to "get over" Christian's death its been
over 3 years I have a family to take care of etc etc etc.
So now I am going to "interject" MY RIGHT to tell you to go
to hell, if you are not a permanent fixture in my life then move on and shut UP, unless you have lost a child to bullying (which by far in my opinion exceeds more than a natural death) if your child died due to illness, you had time to prepare for it, I had no time,except
walking into his room the 20 steps from my room to his after hearing "I dont know how long he's been there"?!?!?!
Bullying in todays society has become vile,hostile and way beyond mean,our kids are being told that the world would be a better place without them,they are called names and assaulted physically and mentally and all the while the school staff turn their heads and ignore what is going on in their schools, I give a rats ass if they are under paid or have to many students they shouldnt have become a teacher or admin at a school, but they did and there is by far NO GOOD excuse to let bullying happen in front of them as it did to my son, who when Ross decided to make a scene in the hall in front of the office, my son was told by one of the AP's to come to her office and my son's response was Yes Ma'am all while Ross Tombs was screaming and making a scene this happened AFTER I met with the school and they said they would protect my son.
So My son is being blatantly bullied IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL and MOST OF THE ADMINISTRATION witnesses galore and yet they still had no proof just 2 written statements , One from Christian's friend Alec and low and behold one from Christian detailing what Ross,Evan,Michael and Brian(yes there was a 4th student I never knew about until we went to trial and what I heard made me physically ill the administraters admitted they did nothing,nada jacksh*t and what makes me more angry than before is Karen Farringer was in the hallway the day Ross Tombs went off on a tirade and she did NOTHING except ask my son to go with her to her office and he did just that some time after that Ross had to be escorted out of the offices because he was so rude and refused to leave, this wasnt Ross's first rodeo either he was well known at Grafton high school he was a regular bully and had no problem telling people they should die or sit in the corner and cut themselves throw food at people and never did anyone who had the power to hold him accountable for his actions step in at ANY TIME throughout his years at Grafton High school.
When school started in September Ross moved on to another member of my family, Christian's older brother Gregg who was all sorts of excited about graduating with his cousin Christina but when Ross started messing with Gregg he decided to quit his SR year and he did and we moved.
As you start a new school year remember this.
See it,report it,hear it,report it,witness it REPORT IT! if they ignore it tell another and another until someone does something and if a friend says something about taking their life tell someone I would much rather have a friend whom is mad at me but alive than a friend who I will never be able to talk to again.
Day by Day is how I make it,my heart is shattered for Christian had the world in the palm of his hand and 4 people took him from us with words and in my opinion that is Murder by proxy...
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Goodbye Sweetheart, I hope you met Christian at the pearly gates, I hope he welcomed you with a hug and you told him about when we were kids, you were younger but you hung around .
I heard you found love, I am happy for you I hope you 2 are together now kickin it with Christian his Uncle Stevie, another loved soul we lost way to soon. I hope every breath you take is easy and free, you sure showed the doctors " she might see the age of 18 but we dont think so" I guess you got the last laugh at them, I am proud of you I really am you saw 39 and for someone with Cystic Fibrosis you were blessed and I am estatic for you, Sorry I was never home, I dont like going home, My family and My life was some where else Where ever the Army told us to go, And my family they are (when I am not with My sister Sharon and BIL Mike) my friends from our Army family, A family is who we choose to let in, my thoughts never strayed from you and I called you a few times wishing I could be there to see you , I have great memories of you your brother and mom in Canada having picnics watching the fireworks at the cove by our home in Canada, Riding my bike all the way to the house in Machias only to ride BACK over into Canada and that was a longggggggg ride...lol
Spending the 4th with you guys and our family I don't think there was a week I wouldn't see you and that flashy smile for everyone the bright hello , how are you.
I hear your mom joined you and I hope that the baby she once held was there once again to see her into heaven, He changed alot since she saw him, 6'4"Gorgeous Black Hair and my blue eyes, I know he is flying free with all of the others who were bullied so bad the only way out was the permanent way out, We've had several new Angels join him in the past 30 days and another mother's heart breaks and starts the trip (a very long trip even 3 years later I am still on this trip) to learning how to survive, how to not want to scream and collapse because a very large part of her has been taken by a hostile schooling system where no one cares except the friends and families.
You tell Chris all about the fun we had , but you can leave out all the parts about the trouble we got into well maybe I got into...lol I hope every breath is easy and you and mom see everyone we lost.
Know this Babygirl, You sure showed them, Im proud of you did it with flair! So Hug my son and let him know I love and miss him like crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy and that I understand I just wish the ending was different...
Becky Ann Johnson October 17,1972-November 19,2011
Joyous Friend, Who Officially showed Doctors that
having Cystic Fibrosis doesn't always mean you can't see 39! <3
Monday, July 15, 2013
As every parent believes with reasonable rationalization, that when send my kids to school, the staff hired to work there is to keep our children safe while they are in their school because everyone knows, a parent cannot go to a school and dish out punishment, rectify or police other kids actions when it comes to our kids and if the Staff doesn't police bullies and hold them accountable and the kids who are being bullied either fight back, carry a gun to school and hold the bullies accountable WHY should THEY be held accountable? you see it isn't tit for tat, it is ok for someone to bully someone so badly and relentlessly that they take their own life ,in my eyes this is murder by proxy.
I have raised my kids not to fight in school yet they called my family "disfunctional" and when my son was told to go kill himself and get it over with, he did NOT take matters into his own hands and kick the crap out of Ross,Evan,Michael and last but least Brian, who's name I never heard until the trial,"yet they called my family disfunctional" When I met my husband Christian's dad wasnt in his life Andy was the father my son knew and my sons ended their relationship with their dad themselves all the hurt he bestowed on them was by his hand or should I say false promises.
Back to Christian on 11May2010,My son didn't lose it and kick their asses, He called me, I went to school I met with staff, and the sheriff Deputy, they dished up a lot of Poloma(crap), after the massive load of BS, I took Chris home and I called the supers office who then called an IEP meeting, Christian refused to go, I know now WHY he refused, they did not give a damn about my son which became clear during the trial (which I might add was recorded )
They admitted they didn't discipline any of the 4 kids under oath on the stand.
I know Christian's friends and their parents didn't tell me because I was already dealing with so much, ie my husband was stationed overseas,my son was dead,I had 5 other children at home and most importantly I was angry which I might add will NEVER go away so understand this,I will be inclined to to tell you to go to hell if you try to speak to me ever, Christian's been dead 3 years you had your chance @ 0645 on 1June2010 to not even acknowledge Christian with his class(they just graduated) EVER it hurt his friends and it pissed me off A student existed in your school district, his class graduated they wanted to put a picture up and pay tribute and you would not and did not let them. Karma is coming your way so be aware and yes it does exist.