He was our glue ,He could make you laugh even if you did not want to.
He would make you smile if you weren't smiling.
He was concerned when you didn't look ok.
He was his little brother Hunter's buddy no matter how busy he got.
He loved his little sister and protected her like brig brothers do.
He had goals in life to be a proboarder,play for the University of Florida,and to be an extreme sport player(he would've done it too)
He was never ashamed to say I love you mom to me or to his siblings in public or alone or infront of his friends.
He loved his family and his family loved him, and now we fight, fight because they SAID they would,when in reality they didnt give a rats ass and should've said no, I would've pulled him and figured it out later.
Now I do not trust anything that comes from someone who is employed by any ISD or District, and I have told my kids if someone is bullying you give em a warning, and if they keep it up, I got their back.
I taught my son to be whom he wanted to be and he did, I also taught my son don't hit tell, I wish I had told him to kick Ross,Evan and Michaels asses because they would've been very surprised at the agility and strength Christian had, they were lightwieghts compared to the 5 who got their asses handed to them in Killeen in front of the whole complex.
Mr Blueeyes, I love you and miss you every second of every minute of every hour of everyday!
Love Mom
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Christmas Day
Today is your fave holiday, once again I think back to you hugging me and asking "what ya got good cooking today Mom?" I miss seeing you kids playing ball in the backyard,with Uncle Matt , I turned down the "settlement offer" it was more like a slap across the face to me, you can not place a monetary value on a life but that showed me how little Grafton valued you as a student or a child, MY child the child that I asked can you protect him and Reed said yes, What part of that question was a joke to anyone,certainly not a parent we dont give birth to our babies to have them so violently taken from us......
I love you Mr.Blueeyes and I miss you more than ever.....
Love Mum
Saturday, November 24, 2012
I wonder........
I wonder.....
Tomorrow is my Birthday, I wish things were different,that you were here, conspiring with your siblings as you did every year always finding me something I would always use, or things you knew I wanted like Florida Gator stuff such as the full sized signed Tim Tebow helmet you got me for my anniversary when Dad was deployed and you smiled so slickly knowing Daddy was so busy overseas you searched and got it,knowing how much I love my Gators so much so, I have more Gator clothes than I do regular!
I remember all the great birthdays we have all had and that you were significant in them as you would be "Mom's secret spy"and the kids never realized that you would tell me what they wanted .....
so for my Birthday I wish you were here to celebrate with me laughing and having fun. I love you and miss you so much Mr.BlueEyes.
Love Mum....
Tomorrow is my Birthday, I wish things were different,that you were here, conspiring with your siblings as you did every year always finding me something I would always use, or things you knew I wanted like Florida Gator stuff such as the full sized signed Tim Tebow helmet you got me for my anniversary when Dad was deployed and you smiled so slickly knowing Daddy was so busy overseas you searched and got it,knowing how much I love my Gators so much so, I have more Gator clothes than I do regular!
I remember all the great birthdays we have all had and that you were significant in them as you would be "Mom's secret spy"and the kids never realized that you would tell me what they wanted .....
so for my Birthday I wish you were here to celebrate with me laughing and having fun. I love you and miss you so much Mr.BlueEyes.
Love Mum....
Sunday, November 4, 2012
A 19th Birthday.....
It is almost that day, that joyful day you came into my life with a loud scream and then you looked right into my eyes and won over my heart with that first look a mother see's when she get's to see her baby for the first time,I remember thinking, he has my blue eyes and he is gorgeous! You had such a sweet nature about you, that is until your brother came along and you cried and stood on Tristan mad there was another person to share my attention with only Tris did not like the initiation into brotherhood at all.
I now am left to wonder, Would you be in college the one you wanted to attend? Would you be playing football as well as the man you admired with such admiration for his passion to play football?
Would you be still so great with your younger siblings who miss you so much? Would you still be young enough to not care about the Hey Mom, I love you see ya later? infront of them? Would you have found that ONE person for you who truly got and understood you and loved you like I do still?
"Would I?" and "Could I?" are now the questions I will never get answered, and unlike murder victim's families I will never get to confront the 3 punks who took you from me just as sure as a murderer takes his prey but atleast his preys families and loved ones are allowed to confront the murdered in those cases and even though the bullies did infact set the stage for our babies to take their own lives in my mind they murdered our children with words,words so vile that dying was better in their minds then living.
Oh and to the Delegate in Virginia there is a extremely massive difference in "Being Mean" and "Being socially unexceptable" so keep this in mind, EVERYTIME you hear a parent who just lost their child to bullying and you hear THESE VERY WORDS, (in Christian's case) Christian Taylor,"You need to just GO AHEAD and KILL YOURSELF and GET IT OVER WITH!?!?!?!?!."or something to the same effect......THAT sir is NOT "Being Mean" that is being on a level of hatred that they shouldn't be allowed in public at all.....
My son was loved,He had friends that loved him a family who adored him and a life to live and that was taken from us, but it wont stop us from loving and remembering who he was and what he did and how he lived.
I am sorry your not here, But Happy Birthday Christian
I miss you more than words will ever say we will never forget you and the joy ,comedy and love you gave us. <3<3<3 Take care of Miss Emme for us we know she is in good hands....I love you Mr.Blueeyes.....
Love Mum
Love Mum
I now am left to wonder, Would you be in college the one you wanted to attend? Would you be playing football as well as the man you admired with such admiration for his passion to play football?
Would you be still so great with your younger siblings who miss you so much? Would you still be young enough to not care about the Hey Mom, I love you see ya later? infront of them? Would you have found that ONE person for you who truly got and understood you and loved you like I do still?
"Would I?" and "Could I?" are now the questions I will never get answered, and unlike murder victim's families I will never get to confront the 3 punks who took you from me just as sure as a murderer takes his prey but atleast his preys families and loved ones are allowed to confront the murdered in those cases and even though the bullies did infact set the stage for our babies to take their own lives in my mind they murdered our children with words,words so vile that dying was better in their minds then living.
Oh and to the Delegate in Virginia there is a extremely massive difference in "Being Mean" and "Being socially unexceptable" so keep this in mind, EVERYTIME you hear a parent who just lost their child to bullying and you hear THESE VERY WORDS, (in Christian's case) Christian Taylor,"You need to just GO AHEAD and KILL YOURSELF and GET IT OVER WITH!?!?!?!?!."or something to the same effect......THAT sir is NOT "Being Mean" that is being on a level of hatred that they shouldn't be allowed in public at all.....
My son was loved,He had friends that loved him a family who adored him and a life to live and that was taken from us, but it wont stop us from loving and remembering who he was and what he did and how he lived.
I am sorry your not here, But Happy Birthday Christian
I miss you more than words will ever say we will never forget you and the joy ,comedy and love you gave us. <3<3<3 Take care of Miss Emme for us we know she is in good hands....I love you Mr.Blueeyes.....
Love Mum
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Do you remember the last movie we saw with Auntie and Uncle Christina and Matthew on our last Family Movie night we had?
Do you remember?
Do you remember our last movie as a family with our ENTIRE family? I do it was the blind side, I remember you joshin Uncle Mike when he cried, We had a huge dinner I cooked all day, We all were so excited to see it after the rave review Dad gave it from Korea, We had the whole family sit down or lay around and we watched it.
Do you remember all your friends loved coming over we set up the mini skate park in our back yard on the cement slab you guys would stay out there and practice your tricks and on weekends the house was packed!
Do you remember Hunter beating you in the video game skate and you were so shocked because finally your little brother got ya....and Do you remember even when friends were over you took time out to hang with Hunter for a bit and being a big brother?
Do you remember before we moved to VA that last halloween we had with Jenn,Charity,Hunter(Jenns Hunter) and Tig and you wanted to be a certain character but the costume was too much but we found it at halfprice and we got it for the next year? I still have it and it sits unused in my closet.
Do you remember the family Vacations with Uncle Mike and Aunt Sharon at Busco beach where we could act crazy and it was ok!
Do you remember when Hunter was born and you and Tristan couldn't visit because he was 3 weeks premature and when they cut the cord his sugar level bottomed out and he was in NeoNatal for 11 days but when I got to bring him home you were so great with him and helping me out?
Do you remember for Valentines Day in 2004 you got on Ebay and bought me those red lacers I still have?
Do you remember that last conversation you had with Dad that ended with an boisterous I LOVE YOU DAD, I will email the directions to upload the mappacks and little did we know that would be the last time you ever spoke to him.
MrBlueeyes
I remember that and so much more and every time I think about the bullying going on I pray that a school will actually step in and deal with it.
My heart is (as is the rest of our family)shattered into a million tiny little pieces I will never stop missing you and everything will never be ok ever again, there is a huge hole in this family and that hole is your presence.
I love you poppy
Do you remember our last movie as a family with our ENTIRE family? I do it was the blind side, I remember you joshin Uncle Mike when he cried, We had a huge dinner I cooked all day, We all were so excited to see it after the rave review Dad gave it from Korea, We had the whole family sit down or lay around and we watched it.
Do you remember all your friends loved coming over we set up the mini skate park in our back yard on the cement slab you guys would stay out there and practice your tricks and on weekends the house was packed!
Do you remember Hunter beating you in the video game skate and you were so shocked because finally your little brother got ya....and Do you remember even when friends were over you took time out to hang with Hunter for a bit and being a big brother?
Do you remember before we moved to VA that last halloween we had with Jenn,Charity,Hunter(Jenns Hunter) and Tig and you wanted to be a certain character but the costume was too much but we found it at halfprice and we got it for the next year? I still have it and it sits unused in my closet.
Do you remember the family Vacations with Uncle Mike and Aunt Sharon at Busco beach where we could act crazy and it was ok!
Do you remember when Hunter was born and you and Tristan couldn't visit because he was 3 weeks premature and when they cut the cord his sugar level bottomed out and he was in NeoNatal for 11 days but when I got to bring him home you were so great with him and helping me out?
Do you remember for Valentines Day in 2004 you got on Ebay and bought me those red lacers I still have?
Do you remember that last conversation you had with Dad that ended with an boisterous I LOVE YOU DAD, I will email the directions to upload the mappacks and little did we know that would be the last time you ever spoke to him.
MrBlueeyes
I remember that and so much more and every time I think about the bullying going on I pray that a school will actually step in and deal with it.
My heart is (as is the rest of our family)shattered into a million tiny little pieces I will never stop missing you and everything will never be ok ever again, there is a huge hole in this family and that hole is your presence.
I love you poppy
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Yesterday.........I got news that broke my heart again.
Yesterday,
Yesterday, I got some news that broke my heart again, one of my totally Fabulous friend's of mine told me that his partner in life(whom had been sick for awhile) passed away in his sleep peacefully after years of pain that he endured while loving Michael with his whole heart life Michael loved him also, and it made me sad they were so perfect together (to be clear I hadnt ever met Michael or Steve in person) but shortly after Christian died, I was online and found blogspot radio and I happened upon 2 of the kewlest peeps in the world, ONE being Michael Kowch and the other none the less, the Fabu host of At Home with Victoria Miss Victoria a women who is a team of AWSOMENESS with her cohost Michael I was still upset from Christian's death due to bullying and Michael the sweetest and kindest most loving person , took our friendship to a whole new high, He started rallying with me for my son and he didnt even know Christian had never met him but loved him reguardless and it prompted Victoria and Michael to do a few shows together and I found out listening to Michael and Victoria and Victoria and Michael had 2 guys on who are a significant fixture against bullying and fight everyday as I do against it.
It was a very positive show and has hooked me up with another 2 kewl kats and I still keep in touch with them via facebook and support their journey as well.
I grew to love Michael and Steve very much and I even sent Steve and Michael an early Easter basket because Steve couldn't wait for Candy, and it was full of all sorts of Candy and what does Michael say to me, Gee thanks I will send you the dentist bill,lol they both loved it and loved sending it to them,Michael has been a very strong supporter for me and the kids listening to them playing the guitar over the fone ,Thanking my husband for his service upon his arrival home for us to move to a new place and away from the house that my son hung himself in and to a new journey in our Army life.
Even though we hadn't ever met I grew to love him and Steve like my own family as do my kids and husband as well, while I am sad Steve is gone, but I hope Christian is there waiting for him to give him a hug and to teach Steve all the things he couldn't do here on earth because of the pain such as Skateboarding,riding ATV's and painting those beautiful sunsets we see at night.
So Michael, I love you and I am waiting when you need me I will be here ,should you need to talk call, if you want to chat message me but mostly know we are all here supporting you and that won't ever change.
Love you Lisa.
Yesterday, I got some news that broke my heart again, one of my totally Fabulous friend's of mine told me that his partner in life(whom had been sick for awhile) passed away in his sleep peacefully after years of pain that he endured while loving Michael with his whole heart life Michael loved him also, and it made me sad they were so perfect together (to be clear I hadnt ever met Michael or Steve in person) but shortly after Christian died, I was online and found blogspot radio and I happened upon 2 of the kewlest peeps in the world, ONE being Michael Kowch and the other none the less, the Fabu host of At Home with Victoria Miss Victoria a women who is a team of AWSOMENESS with her cohost Michael I was still upset from Christian's death due to bullying and Michael the sweetest and kindest most loving person , took our friendship to a whole new high, He started rallying with me for my son and he didnt even know Christian had never met him but loved him reguardless and it prompted Victoria and Michael to do a few shows together and I found out listening to Michael and Victoria and Victoria and Michael had 2 guys on who are a significant fixture against bullying and fight everyday as I do against it.
It was a very positive show and has hooked me up with another 2 kewl kats and I still keep in touch with them via facebook and support their journey as well.
I grew to love Michael and Steve very much and I even sent Steve and Michael an early Easter basket because Steve couldn't wait for Candy, and it was full of all sorts of Candy and what does Michael say to me, Gee thanks I will send you the dentist bill,lol they both loved it and loved sending it to them,Michael has been a very strong supporter for me and the kids listening to them playing the guitar over the fone ,Thanking my husband for his service upon his arrival home for us to move to a new place and away from the house that my son hung himself in and to a new journey in our Army life.
Even though we hadn't ever met I grew to love him and Steve like my own family as do my kids and husband as well, while I am sad Steve is gone, but I hope Christian is there waiting for him to give him a hug and to teach Steve all the things he couldn't do here on earth because of the pain such as Skateboarding,riding ATV's and painting those beautiful sunsets we see at night.
So Michael, I love you and I am waiting when you need me I will be here ,should you need to talk call, if you want to chat message me but mostly know we are all here supporting you and that won't ever change.
Love you Lisa.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Lately.....
Lately you've been on my mind, thinking about how much you would love it here on the ranch,all the animals we've gotten, 2 rabbits,a duck,several chickens and today we got 15 baby chicks so sweet and soft you would've loved holding them like you did Sava when she came home, and now we have a Ziva and Abby Ziva is a dark chocolate brindle and Abby, well she is a white boxer with a black eye and one brown ear and so so so sassy ,Emmylou is getting older and i suppose soon she will move in with you and she will be back with you again happy to lick your face and cuddle again, I miss you babyboy our lives are never going to be the same your silly smile and flashy blue eyes and laugh are missed, your Hey I love you guys is most definatly missed, But know I love you and that will never change.
I hope your heaven is all you dreamed and 1 million times more....
Love Mum
I hope your heaven is all you dreamed and 1 million times more....
Love Mum
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