Thursday, July 21, 2011

Since you've been gone.!

Since you've been gone, Our home isnt a home,it's just a house on a street in a town ,in a state, who didnt care about us.
Since you've been gone,Our family isnt a Family anymore, we are just people who are in pain trying to get from day to day,week to week,month to month,year to year.
Since you've been gone, your ten your old brother cries wanting his big brother to just play video games or pick him and give him that big bear hug you used to do, and your baby sisters want you whisper Hey sis I love and give her those fleeting kisses on the cheek
Since you've been gone,I miss seeing you and kendii sitting whispering sweet nothings,and now while she is back,we miss you the same I miss you as my son and she misses you with a love the same as mine but just as powerful,
Our family won't ever be the same,SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE!!!
My love I miss you....
Luv Mum
Dad,Tristan,William,Hunter,Caity,Sissy,Gregg,RiRi,Nate,Auntie Anna,Nathan,Ryan,Kelly, We truly MISS YOU! you were the glue....Love you baby, miss yer blue eyes...

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Friends,How good or bad are your choices?

Hey Ya'll I hope you are having a good day today, mine is surely better after i got off the telephone a minute ago.
Every where I go I always make friends and I miss them from time to time, Yesterday, I finally called the Country Radio Station at Fort Hood,Tx. When first got to Killeen TX. I had to go through the process of finding a new radio station,so I did and when driving the kids to school every morning the DJ Julia would crack me up with her sidekick, I would die laughing, then I got to meet Julia in person and became friends in the sense, she was great! I would often take Christian or Tristan or both with me to see her and they got to know her and she got to know them and they would joke and we ALL loved seeing her at the car dealers the kids would look around and have fun.
  Today I got a call a call that should've happened a year ago but due to the lack of my memory loss and PTSD the kids and I have, I had forgotten one important friend in my Army Wife Life, Julia, and today I told her what I had forgotten to do when my son passed away, it was hard,She knew and liked Christian, she understood what had happened and why it took me so long to call,it was like we hadn't been gone the whole thing flowed and I told all about Christian and my new journey in life as the CEO&President of the Christian Taylor Foundation  and it was like I spoke to her yesterday and was updating her like any other day, and that is when you know, your friendship never had that year of silence and that you are back to being connected once again.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Today

As the time gets closer and leaving is more real, I wonder,had he still been here would his dad rotated back to the US,probly not as I listen to Kylie Morgan's song Pheobe I wonder did her dad listen? did he collapse like I did in tears missing his babygirl as much as I miss my baby boy? I Thank Aleece Walz for writing Christians Song Where no Child Fears it meant more than any words I could say to me and I am sure she knows this, We are losing our kids to senseless BS in school, if you have a ZERO TOLERANCE than PROVE IT! ACT ON IT! dont send a mass call and not include my number but send to my sisters fone???? I have that call on tape because the day you sent it, we were at Church and his FRIENDS and Family were talking about their memories of Christian....it went on Sharon's answering machine....ZERO means NOTHING NO NOT HAPPENING, and PAUL HOPKINS,KAREN FARRINGER and CRAIG REED, you are a joke, a boil on the butt of HUMANITTY!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Dedicated to ALL my Army wives who have loved and lost and those who Love still.

The Silent Ranks

I wear no uniforms, no blues or greens.
But, I am in the military, in the ranks rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders. Salutes I do not give.
But in the military world is where I live and am rarely seen.
I am not in the chain of command, orders I do not give or get.
But my husband is the one who does, this I can not forget.
I am not the one who fires a weapon, Who puts his life on the line.
But my job is just as tough, I’m the one who is always left behind.
My husband is a patriot, a brave and pride filled man.
And the call to serve his country not all can understand.
Behind the lines, I see things needed to keep this country free.
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do my kids and me.
I love the man I married. The military is his life.
So I pledge to support my hero and stand among the silent ranks known as
THE MILITARY WIFE.

author unknown...

Specifically to the wives of the first unit that went into Iraq from Fort Sill whom while I didnt know thier husbands I did know the wives....

Things you just DON'T say to a Military WIFE or kids .......

2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.”
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here’s why: it’s not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we’d get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We’re not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. “At least he’s not in Afghanistan.”
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Iraq. What do they think is happening in Iraq? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)

4. “Do you think he’ll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?”
(Don’t you watch the news? No! They don’t get to come home for any of these things. Please don’t ask again.)

5. “What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?”
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there’s a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don’t get bored, and eating massive amounts of chocolate always helps keep me busy.)

6. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?”
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren’t counting down the days until they “can” get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)


7. “This deployment shouldn’t be so bad, now that you’re used to it.”
(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you’ve gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. But it never gets “easy” and the bullets and bombs don’t skip over our guys just because they’ve been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. “My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you’re going through.”
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband’s three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a shitty ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)

9. “Wow you must miss him?”
(This one also gets another big “duh”. Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they’re now divorced.)

10. “Well, he signed up for it, so it’s his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn’t sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that “You’re welcome.” He’s still fighting for your freedom.)

11. “Don’t you miss sex! I couldn’t do it!”
(hmmm, no i don’t miss sex. i’m a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices and seeing their faces. The hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn’t withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

12. “Well in my opinion…..”
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn’t ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom and not in a restaurant when I’m out with my girls trying to forget the war.

last but not least….

13. “OH, that’s horrible…I’m so sorry!”
(He’s doing his job and he’s tough. Don’t be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom.

Believe it or not WE DO get asked these, and when we do most of us roll our eyes and walk away muttering Freaking Idiot.!!!!! LMAO
Remember the next time you go to say something that you might NOT think is exactly a bad thing, stop,THINK,then SPEAK! and don't be surprised if you get a negative response, YES I knew what I signed UP for when I married my husband, Do I regret ANY of my choices Ive made while being married to him? simply yes, I regret having moved to this horrible unbalanced state with these horrible unbalanced people that took my talented sweet loving son, BUT I will NOT regret the friends I have made here and I will miss them terribly......Thank you Maloulagi for responding.
Lisa 

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Clam Chowda good for the soul!

Sunday Pete took my son out on the boat, they went clamming and came BACK with a haul! Sunday we roasted them on the grill, yesterday I made homemade New England Clam Chowda as we sit back home, and yes while I have a thick southern drawl I am a nawthana not that I like to admit that,Maine and the southern part of the US are oh so different, in the south men are brought up different, I remember the FIRST time I dated a guy in the Navy from the south, He went to open the truck door for me and I about slapped him,(thus not knowing they are raised to be gentlemen and do such things as this) guys from Maine,Oh yeah sure they don't open doors ANY doors, and they NEVER let the lady go first.
  they are also extremely rude and crass and tend to be its all about me, men from the south it is about the date they are with they pull out the chairs,they ask you to order first and they are just sweet, thinking of simple things to put that little spark into the lady they love, I am especially blessed with a man who doesn't buy stuff I wont use but gets me things that he knows I will totally ADORE my signed Tim Tebow full size helmet, My cookware,a pair of lacers that he knows I want, things he knows I will USE and totally love and on a simple occasion I will get the flowers, but that is mostly if he is deployed across the seas (which has been alot) I think that for the one time in my life, I made a bonus descision when I married my Cali man he has adapted to wranglers from levis THANK GOD! and wears boots, opens my truck door even if I am driving,and loves me for me, even when I am in the midst of breaking because of our significant loss of Christian, which there are no words to even describe how I feel.
  So if you think I am to bitchy brass sassy or narrow minded know this about me, this is no one way or the other with me, it is what it is and that is what it will be, but be aware I am fiercely loyal to those I hold close and I will fight the fight and when I say it you can be 100% sure I mean it, there is no happy medium, so next time when I ask you CAN YOU PROTECT MY SON and you say YES, and I say okkkkk but if anything happens to HIM Hell will be coming and I will be BEHIND IT! believe me I am no joker when it comes to my kids, I didnt give up a career to be Mother to a family so my soldier could do HIS job for nothing.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Dr.Phil Bullied to Death Show

Christian

WHERE NO KID FEARS CHRISTIANS SONG.wmv

Where No Kid Fears 2

Waiting to move ......

Well, I am almost done with living here in hell, No move is ever worth your child's life. Had I known 
Grafton was a lousy school district perhaps I would've been back in Charleston on the weapon station
in housing, but now I will leave this place, I will never forget what have taken from myself,my kids and my
husband who had endure me on 31May2010 SCREAMING into the fone you HAVE to COME HOME, I cant DO THIS ALONE! something no deployed soldier should ever have to hear EVEN my Sis Anna (active duty also now at Sill was in Fayetteville NC) She was driving when I called her,I could barely talk, she had to pull off the road it overcame her to the depths of her soul and she had just returned from Afghanistan after a year. AND what have now given myself and my kids PTSD, it isn't nice,it isn't fake,it's not a joke it is REAL TRUE AND HARD to deal with....... To my husband I love you To Sis , Thank you and I love you to my kids I love you soooooooooo much you guys are my world, and to Christian's friends I will miss you, We love you and come see us anytime.
Love Mom